Smart Women Quotes

December 20, 2021
Smart women love smart men

100 Funny Quotes and Sayings about Women

  • As powerful as inspirational quotes can be, occasionally we just need a bit of humor to brighten up our day. Get to know about a woman’s nature with these funny quotes and sayings about women.
  • A beauty is a woman you notice; a charmer is one who notices you.
  • Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world. – By Marilyn Monroe.
  • A cosmetic is a boon to every woman, but a girl’s best friend is still a near sighted man.
  • A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.
  • A Frenchwoman, when double- Bycrossed, will kill her rival; the Italian woman would rather kill her deceitful lover; the Englishwoman simply breaks off relations- Bybut they all will console themselves with another man.
  • A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species. – By Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
  • A man gives many question marks, however, a woman is a whole mystery. – By Diana Sturm
  • A man may be right or wrong…but a woman is always right.
  • A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction. – By Oscar Wilde
  • A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are. – By Chauncey Mitchell Depew
  • A wise man once said “I don’t know, ask a girl.”
  • A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon. – By Arnold Haultain
  • A woman can smell mink through six inches of lead. (Double Dynamite)
  • A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. – By Groucho Marx
  • A woman is like a tea bag – By you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water. – By Eleanor Roosevelt
  • A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water.
  • A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking. – By Malcolm de Chazal, Mauritian Writer
  • A woman should soften but not weaken a man. – By Sigmund Freud
  • A woman wears her tears like jewelry. – By Author Unknown
  • A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – By That’s because she changes it more often.
  • A women may be misinformed, mislead, unclear, misguided, and even downright stupid..but she is never ever wrong.
  • After about 20 years of marriage, I’m finally starting to scratch the surface of that one. And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. – By Mel Gibson, about what women want
  • Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
  • Ah, women. They make the highs higher and the lows more frequent. – By Friedrich Nietzsche
  • All girls can be just gotta act stupid in front of them.
  • All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men. – By Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966
  • Americans like fat books and thin women.
  • Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he’s in love with her.
  • As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. – By Oscar Wilde
  • Because I’m a guy, I think what you’re wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
  • Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
  • Behind every successful man is a woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
  • Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.
  • Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship.
  • Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women. – By Nicole Hollander
  • Cosmetics is a boon to every woman, but a girl’s best friend is still a nearsighted man.
  • Curve: The loveliest distance between two points. – By Mae West
  • Despite my thirty years of research into the woman soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want? – By Sigmund Freud
  • Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak. – By William Shakespeare, As You Like It
  • Don’t judge a women from 100 feet away.
  • Don’t argue! You cannot win. You cannot beat a woman in a argument. It’s impossible. You will not win. Cause, men, we are handicapped when it comes to arguing cause we have a need to make sense
  • Don’t give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can’t wear in the evening.
  • Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away. – By Laurence J. Peter
  • Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
  • Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right – By instantly. – By Sam Slick (Thomas Chandler Haliburton)
  • Fake hair, fake nails, fake eye lash, artificial face and sometimes fake behavior, yet a woman will say she needs a real man.
  • Fighting is essentially a masculine idea; a woman’s weapon is her tongue. – By Hermione Gingold
  • For most of history, Anonymous was a woman – By Virginia Woolf
  • From 30 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 30 feet away. – By Raymond Chandler
  • Girls have an unfair advantage over men: if they can’t get what they want by being smart, they can get it by being dumb.
  • God did it on purpose so that we may love you men instead of laughing at you. – By Mrs Patrick Campbell, in reply to a male acquaintance who asked why women seem to have no sense of humor.
  • God made Adam first because he didn’t want any advice from Eve how to make Adam.
  • God made women beautiful and foolish, ….beautiful that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him.
  • Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time…they’re gone.
  • Here’s all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
  • High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead. – By Christopher Morley
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