Breaking up is hard to do at any age. Whether you’re 14 or 44, the heartache and heavy emotions can make you feel like you’ve lost your mind and your best friend. Breakdowns, bloodshot eyes, and baskets of tissues may be your new reality, but dealing with a breakup and moving on can be a little more bearable with a book to guide you along the way.
I have totally been that girl searching the self-help section looking for a title that promised to turn my pain into power. Even therapists go though breakups and breakdowns, I have certainly had a few. I would have done anything to get my ex off my mind and out of my life, but the truth is, it was a process. I fantasized about “Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Minding it” AKA a way to erase it all… Instead, I opted for Amazon binges and Barnes and Noble dates (with myself).
There is no magic spell or potion (I tried) but there are some solid words of wisdom from the books below that helped me get out of bed and bravely begin the next chapter of my life. The recommended books helped to make the healing process go by faster, whether your breakup was last week or last year there is a book for you. Here are a few of my favorites depending on where you are on the breakup spectrum.
This one literally fell off the shelf for me. I swear I was walking through Borders, which I believe is now non-existent, when this book was falling off the shelf. I noticed this happy girl on the cover and was intrigued. “I want to look like that….She’s like radiating happiness.” Well, after a few weeks of debating on if I wanted to be happy or obsessed with the Ass from my past, I opened it up and have never looked back. If you want to move forward, get over your ex or anyone who has hurt you, and learn to be happy, get this book.
I starting doing the exercises all the time. In fact, I even wound up working with Gabby in many of her group coaching groups. A good friend calls this work “exercises for your brain and soul.” This book has helped me move forward without hesitating, becoming one of the happy people (finally).
My adorable dad brought over a care package with chocolate and this book. A concerned Daddy did a little research and saw that this book and the workbook were good fits for his fragile daughter. At first I laughed, but after thumbing through the pages, I was grateful for this guidance. Dad got it right. Lisa Steadman obviously had gone through her share of breakups and was a breath of fresh air. I didn’t want to admit that it was over, and when I opened this book, I felt like she wan’t telling me to move on. She was telling me “Get angry girl! That dude was mean; be mad, but don’t worry you are going to get through it.” Lisa Steadman normalizes the feelings and gives you a tool for handling every emotion that comes up, making you feel powerful not broken.
Marie Forleo is hilarious, the title of this book should be, “Your Guide to Being Fabulous in Any Situation.” Her humor and helpful guidance helps you feel and radiate happiness in everything you do, including date. The purpose is to teach readers that they are already irresistible when they are living in the now and following their dreams. When you are happy with your life (this book is a guide) and not looking for someone to complete you, you become more confidant and attract the right people into your life. I really found value in this easy-to-read and laugh-out loud-book, it allowed me to open my mind to living in the moment.
One of my best friends is indebted to this this book. After reading almost every title out there, this one brought a smile back to her face and hope for the future. Sure, it’s not the most gentle, but its in your face style is perfect for anyone who needs to hear the truth and make a change. She quickly got over the guy that disrespected her for the trillionth time, and tried her hand at dating men who were less douchey. Guess what…after a few blind dates that were soft of awkward, she’s happily dating the dude of her dreams for 6 months (BTW I like him too.)
A client was going through a hell of a breakdown over a budding narcissist who bruised her ego big time. I handed her a copy of this. Her story sucks and so does Arylo’s, which is why so many of us can relate. The twisted fate of her romance, well the first part her fiancé calling it quits two hours before the engagement party, was a harsh wake-up call for her. But Arylo finds this to be a blessing in disguise as it allowed her to accept herself and attracting the right people into her life. “I believed I was not worthy enough to have something good. I finally saw that the people, especially the men I was attracted to and I’d been attracting into my life were reflecting how I felt about myself and since I didn’t love me, they couldn’t love me in the way I needed either.” Arylo delves a little deeper than most which can be helpful. She provides self-reflecting and powerful exercises in changing thoughts to create powerful changes for the reader in the quest to better love herself, rather than just finding a partner.