Great female personalities

"We often return to similar patterns, to familiar personalities and modes of interacting, " says the anthropologist Helen Fisher, a relationship expert and the author of Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love. Not only does dating the same type of woman become a little boring, it doesn't allow you to evolve. But with our roster of classic womanly personalities as a guide, we'll sort out what you like, why you may be stuck in that pattern, and what you could be missing out on - both romantically and sexually - by not mixing up your playlist.

The Urban Sophisticate

Her strengths: This woman is funny, hot, and spontaneous. When you walk into a room with her, everyone stares at you in envy. Neil Strauss, author of the best-selling dating memoir The Game, puts it simply, "This is the kind of girl everyone wants, and it makes you feel awesome when you're the one who has her."

Her weaknesses: "You need enormous confidence to date a woman like this, " Strauss says. "She gets off on attention, but you can't get jealous." If you're independent, you'll dig her ambition, but make sure she wants you-and not just the ego boost you provide.

Her bedroom persona: She's uninhibited and nicely groomed. Tell her you like her on top, preferably wearing something expensive that makes her breasts look hot.

The Arty Hipster

Her strengths: She knows where all the dive bars are and all the art shows with free wine. She's exciting and stylish, but not as untouchable as the urban sophisticate. "She actually likes nerds and intellectuals, " says Ian Coburn, author of God Is a Woman: Dating Disasters. And she actually cares about culture. "She can be great for a guy who wants to learn more about art and music, " says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a relationship therapist and the author of She Comes First.

Her weaknesses: Do you keep going after her because you hope her cool will rub off on you? If your interests don't match, don't expect to just coast along on her taste. "Girls like this have opinions, " Kerner says. "And they want you to know the difference between Jonathan Adler and Jonathan Richman."

Her bedroom persona: The good news: She's dirty. The bad news: Her bed's not that clean. Tell her if she changes the sheets before you come over, you'll take her to see Blonde Redhead - in Japan.

The Vegan Yoga Gal

Her strengths: She's got great skin and a long neck, and she gives you long back rubs with wacky oils. All that deep breathing means she rarely flies off the handle, and you value this perhaps even more than you value her amazing, high, tight rear, which is saying a lot. Strauss says, "This is a woman who really wants to make a deep connection with life, and a man who wants the same could be really into her." Fisher says that independent, analytical, or creative guys could find her alternative view fascinating.

Her weaknesses: Remember, Strauss notes, "These women are almost exclusively interested in men who are into the same stuff they are." Love her, love her lifestyle.

Her bedroom persona: She's just as Kama Sutra-esque as you were hoping - but no quickies. She likes it slow and soulful.

The Alpha Female

Her strengths: She graduated from college in 3 years and went right to law school without taking a vacation. She's hard to keep up with. Ironically, it's not the alpha dog who should try dating her. "A scientist, artist, or teacher will do well with this woman, " says April Masini, author of Date Out of Your League. "If you're not interested in power plays, she won't fight you."

Her weaknesses: She has a lot in common with alpha males, but these relationships are too intense. "They can't make time for each other, " Fisher says. Coburn cautions that pushover types are often attracted to such women, and some alpha females - the sadistic ones - are attracted right back. "Obviously, if this is your dynamic, it isn't good."

Her bedroom persona: She's efficient and skilled, but she can be more than sufficiently animal if you help her let her guard down.